We have analyzed new and previously published radial velocity (RV) observations of MARVELS-1, known to have an ostensibly substellar companion in a ~6 day orbit. We find significant (~100 m s–1) residuals to the best-fit model for the companion, and these residuals are naïvely consistent with an interior giant planet with a P = 1.965 days in a nearly perfect 3:1 period commensurability (|Pb /Pc – 3| < 10–4). We have performed several tests for the reality of such a companion, including a dynamical analysis, a search for photometric variability, and a hunt for contaminating stellar spectra. We find many reasons to be critical of a planetary interpretation, including the fact that most of the three-body dynamical solutions are unstable. We find no evidence for transits, and no evidence of stellar photometric variability. We have discovered two apparent companions to MARVELS-1 with adaptive optics imaging at Keck; both are M dwarfs, one is likely bound, and the other is likely a foreground object. We explore false-alarm scenarios inspired by various curiosities in the data. Ultimately, a line profile and bisector analysis lead us to conclude that the ~100 m s–1 residuals are an artifact of spectral contamination from a stellar companion contributing ~15%-30% of the optical light in the system. We conclude that origin of this contamination is the previously detected RV companion to MARVELS-1, which is not, as previously reported, a brown dwarf, but in fact a G dwarf in a face-on orbit.